February 2012
mykicks:
Billy Joel - “The River of Dreams”
Now Facebook is discussing what the cast of...
I bet you’re looking up photos of Khandi Alexander.
Admit it.
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I did not just research photos of what the cast of...
I did not.
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Oh, yeah, I didn't mention it anywhere, but I have...
sweetladygenevieve:
Uh. Yeah.
Spewed imaginary water. YEAH BABAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
I better get off the internet because I'm getting...
I reach this point every night.
These comments on Facebook are brutal.
I stole a car when I was a kid and look how I turned out…
Ah. I see.
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So I send myself fan mail. So what?
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UNDERCOVER BOSS
UNDERCOVER BOSS
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Follow-Up: Also, if you go to the supermarket in...
You know you're sick when you spend an afternoon...
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Is being a hipster when you wear ugly, outdated...
I see.
I hate how I have to swallow the words I'm...
Guy at the gym: Yeah I'm mostly into ska.
Me (thinking): Oh I'm sorry, I thought you said you were 23, not a 14 year old white kid from the suburbs who just smoked a real joint for the first time since the first pot you bought was just oregano and now you're getting ready to start your ska band which will inevitably be a pun like "The Skavengers" or "The Skalding Hots" which you'll just abandon in 2 months anyway when you flunk out of your high school band class and can't afford to buy a trumpet.
Me: Ah.
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THIS KID
Middle Schooler: "So, I liked this girl and I went up to her and was like, 'Wanna go out?' and she was all 'I might be pregnant' and I was like 'OH WHOA HEY I'M GONNA GO PLAY WITH SOME TOY TRUCKS OVER HERE WHILE YOU'RE GETTING LAID'."
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